I heard that talking about our feelings after the break-up is an enormous and powerful tool to manage with sadness, fear, anger and confusion. It’s tough to survive a relationship break-up. Our heart is being torn out and the situation is the most painful moment in our lives. I know, as humans we are not equipped with suitable tool to cope with the situation and everyone in life, at least, once experienced the pain of loss.
Today I would like to talk about relationship. What is the basic tool of each relationship? I believe that fulfil each other’s needs is important as well as trust and communication. I believe that breakups take place because we don’t share anymore the same beliefs or goals.
How do we feel after?
We feel physically exhausted and want to scream with anger- at our ex and at the whole world. We start wondering why we didn’t fight harder for our relationship. Everything was promising and so beautiful. So, what happened and why? We know we had lost a friend, a partner, but we forget about the most important thing: we did not lose ourselves. We feel guilty and obsessively check our phone in the hope she or he will text us.
Talking about the reasons of brake-up, infidelity seems the be the worst one. It shatters all boundaries in relationship. Cheating should never take place in healthy relationship between two people. After that, the other person feels miserable, unattractive or undesirable.
Moreover, it is a nightmare when the other person doesn’t know why the break-up happens, there is no specific reason to end the relationship. Everything seemed to be ok. I think the “break- up conversation” should take place. It is hard part of the process but important for the other side of the relationship. We feel confused without any clear explanation. Is it really so hard to spend a little time on conversation to explain your decision? Why some people are so selfish and egoistic avoiding the last conversation? You think you know the other person- but you are wrong. I wouldn’t be ready to get away, I would try to clarify my decision.
Break-up creates a sense of chaos in many areas of our life. We start suffering from insomnia. The only thing that we feel then is loneliness. Nothing makes us feel better. We assume that all men and women are untrustworthy and bad. I know, the break-up should be treated as a chance and opportunities for a great relationship in the future, but now it is hard to imagine and believe in it. We are still waiting for a call or try to text them in order to receive more connection. It is easy to say that life is too short to wait for someone who disappointed you. Fact, there is a lot of ways to cope with loss.
Author: Alicja Antos
